I don't like Zack Snyder movies.
Even I can see this movie needs him.
I don't know and certainly don't care about how it came to this. Whether it was this before Whedon took the reigns after an unfortunate tragedy or not. I care about what we have.
And what we have, people, is a hot mess. But it isn't too hot. No, this isn't a mess you fry an egg on top off in the desert. This is the warmth of milk you forgot to put to the fridge and has now been sitting on a table for eight hours, six of it in the sun. It's an uncomfortable, somewhat gross warmth. Touching it just feels wrong. Yet, it's still milk. The most boring sustenance one could have. It's the "image most people have of Superman" of nutrients.
And mostly it's because this is just such a ridiculously by-the-numbers boring action movie. The plot is basically just a western on a larger scale. A bad guy comes to town to mess it up, the good guys team up and fight the bad guy. Little attention is given to said bad guy, but the team has all sorts of problems! One dude doesn't want to lead (because he's angsty which is always a fun trait for the character we spend most of a supposedly-fun superhero movie with), one lady doesn't want to be there (even though after her film being the only good movie in this entire franchise she's the single person we would absolutely want to be there), two dudes are there to make jokes (which are not funny because they're all old jokes or obvious first drafts), and one dude knows everything (which is ironic since even after this film we know basically nothing about him). Then they have to go to another village to recruit the most reclusive of the ronin, a dead one, and then they can go save the day with his reluctant leadership (because a deus ex machina totally isn't that if you introduce it in a prior scene, right).
Nowhere is the uninspired, utterly devoid-of-original-thought nature of Justice League more visible than when you look at it. It's a Joss Whedon movie so it's all image-counterimage (with one or the other often being a shot featuring Gal Gadot's buttocks because Whedon is a creep) except when action occurs when everything is shot so we see the very tip of the characters heads and just below their knees at all times. Stefan Sonnenfeld, the man who colored most Zack Snyder films, is credited as the colorist here, but you would never believe it. Every scene in Justice League looks as flat as most scenes in The Avengers, shot in a pale sunlight that casts everyone in an unflattering light. The Gotham-scenes are the only parts where it looks somewhat textured and that's only because they're the only parts in the entire movie where it's dark.
With a film this boring to look at, this boring to listen to, and this boring to experience, even I, a person who could literally not give less of a shit about the fate of any mass-conglomerates hit franchise making money or being succesful, craves for what could have been under better circumstance.
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